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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497963">loveproof</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2jin as the supportive friends who are also in love, F/F, What am I doing, based on conan gray's crush culture, hyejoo is that one hot bad girl, there's chuusoul if you squint, yerim is the sun that melts hyejoo's cold heart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:15:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,551</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since the first day Son Hyejoo showed up to Yerim's high school, no one has been able to get into her heart. Which is especially annoying when you just fell in love with her, as Yerim discovers. </p><p>Inspired by Conan Gray's "Crush Culture" and a wonderful art AU created by @/annanananuh on Twitter :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Yerim | Choerry/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. yerim & hyejoo (aka, an introduction disguised as a chapter)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t start out as a crush. A healthy admiration, maybe, but not a crush.</p><p>At least, that was how Yerim liked to think about it. Every time she tensed up at her locker, fingers frozen in midair while reaching for a book because the other girl was just across the hall, she shook her head and told herself she was just inspired by the other girl. By Hyejoo.</p><p>She ignored the playful belittlement she received from her friends when she admitted that she found herself staring at her dark-haired classmate whenever the two were in the same room. The blush that rose up in Hyejoo’s cheeks when she focused intently on an assignment infatuated her. Deep pink flushed across her cheekbones, nothing like the intense siren-red that burned Yerim’s face and bit at her ears out of shame- a sensation she experienced far more often than she liked to admit.</p><p>Dark cascades of hair hung in front of Hyejoo’s face when she worked, as she had a bad habit of bending over her work in class. Yerim watched, a few seats back, as the other girl’s deep blue tips brushed the wood of her desk. As simple as it was, to her, it was utterly fascinating.</p><p>It was Haseul who first brought up that what Yerim was feeling might be more than just friendly interest.</p><p>“Yerim…” Haseul had started, her voice trailing off briefly as the younger girl stared quietly at Hyejoo. They sat in the shade of an old tree, Haseul with her back against the wood and Yerim resting her weight on her hands, sitting in a patch of sunlight that the tree had failed to cover. “You’ve had a crush before, right?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Yerim responded without turning to face her friend.</p><p>“And have you thought your… thing for Hyejoo through?”</p><p>This pulled Yerim’s attention away. At first she was confused, and slightly insulted at the insinuation that she hadn’t thought about her interest enough to understand it- of course she understood it, she thought about Hyejoo all the time, how could she not- and then it hit her, hard.</p><p>“Oh.” She said quietly. And then: “Shit.”</p><p>And that was where it all began.</p><p>xx<br/>
Yerim’s friends weren’t wrong when they voiced surprise about their friend’s choices, per se. Really, they were only trying to prevent Yerim from falling for someone who would never fall for her back. </p><p>See, while leather jacket-doting Hyejoo could easily be labeled a troublemaker thanks to her intimidating appearance and frequent detention visits, she wasn’t nearly as bad as some other people at their school. She didn’t sneak vapes through long sleeves or pull the fire alarm during tests. There were only two issues with her- one, she didn’t work well with authorities, and two, she was practically incapable in love.</p><p>Actually, not practically incapable. Literally incapable.</p><p>Yerim wasn’t the first to fall for Hyejoo, and even in later years she certainly wouldn’t be the last. There was a sort of allure to the girl, what with her good looks and lone-wolf personality. Her group of friends was strong and safe, tough enough to keep away trouble but not so much that they attracted too much danger. One could easily see why she was so desirable. End up with her, and you were getting social protection and a remarkably attractive girlfriend. It was a double win. If you were able to get into her heart, that is.</p><p>The one thing no one could figure out was why Hyejoo hated love so much. Every time someone took a shot with her, even if they were cute or funny or a sports star, she turned them down without hesitation. Sometimes she didn’t even let them finish their proclamation of love, shooting them down before Cupid could even lift his bow. Admirers often found their heart-covered letters ripped to pieces and tossed in the trash, beautiful words obscured by yogurt stains and molded banana peels. It was literally impossible to seduce her.</p><p>(In Yerim’s junior year, after a baseball player was rejected by her for the third time, a rumor was started that she’d ripped out her heart and turned it to stone so that she couldn’t fall in love. It was a joke, obviously, spouted out between drinks at a house party, but it ended up getting attention despite its ridiculousness because no one could find a better explanation.)</p><p>Really, Yerim’s friends were protecting her. They’d seen the aftermath of Hyejoo’s dismissals, teary suitors hiding their blotchy faces after their proposals had failed. They never wanted that to happen to Yerim. Bright, joyous, glass-half-full Yerim.</p><p>It would break her, maybe for a little while or perhaps for years. But they didn’t want her to break at all.</p><p>xx </p><p>Ever since she’d figured out her true feelings for Hyejoo, Yerim had gone from being obsessed with the girl to avoiding the thought of her altogether. She refused to think of Hyejoo. Not a single thought. She distracted herself, buried any thoughts of her attraction deep inside, knowing that there was no hope in feeding her heart's desire as her feelings would never be reciprocated. </p><p>Truth be told, it was fucking impossible.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. white stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yerim’s attempts to keep her helpless crush at bay were, needless to say, in vain.</p><p>The days weren’t as bad as the nights. During class, she could use meaningless word problems that took forever to solve as a shield for her thoughts of attraction. At lunch, she would focus solely on the conversation her friends were in, talking more than usual to keep her mind away from love. But when she got home, once her homework was gone and her friends had checked in for the night, there was nothing to stop the dreams of Hyejoo that crept into her mind and filled her body with sensation. There was nothing to keep her heart still.</p><p>One Wednesday, however, avoiding thoughts of Hyejoo was easier than she intended. Yerim stood with her friends on the outskirts of the football field one afternoon. They were discussing recent events, and for once, attraction was the last thing on Yerim’s mind. </p><p>“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get the Sadies theme.” Heejin sighed, tucking her phone into her pocket. “Construction? Like, what does that even mean?”</p><p>“It’s romantic.” Hyunjin replied in a deadpan tone. That was her way of being sarcastic- she said things so seriously that it was often hard to tell if she really meant it or not.</p><p>“Babe, no. It’s all going to be orange and as everyone knows, orange is the worst color.”</p><p>Haseul added her own point to the discussion. “Maybe they’re trying to get us to think more positive. Something along the lines of, ‘build your own future’ or whatever.”</p><p>Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Still, construction is objectively the shittiest theme ever. What’s the dress code? No hard hat, no entry?”</p><p>The three bounced quips and discussion points off of each other while Yerim watched from the side. Even though it seemed like she was being fourth-wheeled, she couldn’t care less- it had been a while since she’d felt this content.</p><p>Eventually, she lost track of the conversation, so she was taken off guard when Hyunjin turned to her and asked: “Hey, did you do that English packet?”</p><p>“Hm? Yeah.” </p><p>Hyunjin rolled her eyes jokingly. “Why’d I even ask? Duh. You do all the homework.”</p><p>“Hyun, that’s part of school.” Yerim cracked back, but she was too used to helping her friends to do anything else. “Here, get out your packet. You can copy off mine.”</p><p>“Can I use yours too?” Heejin asked, a little bit awkward over having to ask. “Haseul turned hers in early today, and besides, she wouldn’t let me even look at it if she still had it.” </p><p>“Cheating doesn’t help with anything,” Haseul informed them as a teacher would, “and besides, if you copied the written portion off me it wouldn’t sound anything like you. It’d be worse than if you turned it in blank.” (This was a very true statement considering Haseul’s skill at writing essays that sounded like they had been taken straight from the New York Times.)</p><p>Yerim, however, was too concerned with other matters to care about the conversation that was happening between her friends. Her binder was missing- or rather, she’d forgotten it. Earlier that day, she remembered thinking her bag felt lighter than usual. But then she’d gotten distracted when Hyejoo and her friends passed by, and she was too wrapped up in beating herself up for having a silly crush to remember to check if she had anything.</p><p>“Guys, I think I left my binder in English.” Yerim admitted. </p><p>“If you’re going to go back to get it, I’ll go with you.” Haseul offered, but Yerim shook her head.</p><p>“I’ll be quick, promise.” She glanced down at her backpack. “Just don’t let anyone steal my bag.”</p><p>Heejin raised a fist jokingly. “You got it, chief. I’ll fight anyone who gets near it.” Hyunjin let out a quick laugh, a rare occurrence for her. “What?”</p><p>“Nothing, babe.” Hyunjin said, actually grinning a bit. “I just find it funny how…”</p><p>Yerim was already off, no longer paying attention to their discussion (which she figured was going to result in a casual argument between the two lovebirds). It wasn’t a big deal- she forgot things like her binder all the time. School-focused as she was, she still couldn’t always remember everything. Especially not when her schedule forced her to pass by her crush on the way to classes, which was highly unfair considering how it often caused her mind to blank out.</p><p>Thankfully, today she and her friends had decided to spend time on their school campus, which meant she didn’t have too far to go. Her English classroom was close to the football field, and when she pushed open the doors into the air-conditioned hallways of the English department, it only took her about thirty seconds to reach the classroom’s entrance. </p><p>Her binder was sitting at the back of the classroom on the countertops near the class’s only sink. It was a peach-orange and decorated with white stick-on stars. In decorating it she’d realized it was a bit juvenile, but the pleasant color matched with the cute patterns made her smile when she was finished, and that was enough. </p><p>Yerim grabbed her binder and was about to make her way to the door when she heard footsteps and voices, causing her to jump.<br/>She drew back quickly, to where she couldn’t be seen through the square pane of glass in the door’s center. In her hurry, she’d left the door cracked, and as the group of people stopped near the classroom, she knew it was too late to close it and hide completely. </p><p>Normally, it wouldn’t be strange for students to be passing by, but it was after three thirty, which meant no students were supposed to be on campus. Yerim glanced at the clock- three forty four. But it was the familiar voice she heard outside that caused her to whip her head back around so fast her neck would be hurting for hours later.</p><p>It was Hyejoo.</p><p>“Jinsoul, explain to me again why you’re going out with that Chuu girl. I’ve thought it through and I still don’t get it.”</p><p>Another voice, less familiar, responded: “Well, she’s cute, we get along well, and, hmm, she’s cute.” The witty remark earned a few snorts from her peers- Yerim guessed there were maybe four people outside, including Hyejoo.</p><p>Hyejoo again: “I thought she was a freshman at first, judging by her behavior. I wonder if anyone’s told her Santa isn’t real yet.”</p><p>“Real funny.” The second voice- Jinsoul- replied. “Don’t come after my girlfriend just because you can’t have one.”</p><p>“Have? I don’t want one, dumbass.” Yerim winced- even in her friend group, where playful arguments were common, she wasn’t used to harsh terms being used so casually. </p><p>Another voice piped up. “What is your issue with love, anyways? You act like it’s some kind of illness.” Yerim recognized that the girl speaking was Jungeun, from her AP Stats class. She was arguably the most friendly of Hyejoo’s group. </p><p>“We’ve been over this. I don’t know, and I don’t care.” Hyejoo’s response brought a flurry of questions to Yerim’s mind, but she pushed them down and kept listening.</p><p>One more voice- Sooyoung, also from Yerim’s Stats class- interjected: “Are you sure you’ve never had a crush? On anyone? You’ve got to at least find someone attractive.”</p><p>Hyejoo sighed. “Fine.”</p><p>“Fine?” Jinsoul asked, unmasked curiosity in her voice.</p><p>“There’s one girl- and I’m not saying I have a crush on her, so don’t get any ideas.” Yerim’s crush explained firmly. “She’s in my English class and she has really nice hair. That’s all I’ll say.”</p><p>Yerim felt the same surprise and interest as the other girls likely felt. Did Hyejoo, the one who was impossible to seduce, just admit to liking someone? Even though the girl’s identity remained vague, it was earth shattering. (Yerim was hyperbolizing, but damn did it feel like her world had changed.)</p><p>The rest of their conversation faded out as Yerim slipped farther down against the wall near the door, her fingers aching from how tightly she gripped her binder. A jumble of emotions swelled in her chest. Joy, that there was a chance, no matter how slight, that her feelings might be reciprocated. Hurt in knowing that Hyejoo’s heart belonged to someone else. Guilt that she had sat and listened to a conversation she wasn’t a part of. Plus a bit of fear that she’d be found. God, she couldn’t even imagine.</p><p>Yerim was jolted out of her trance at the sound of the group leaving. She scooted over to the door, peeking through the crack only to find that they were already gone. Thank goodness for that, since her heart was already beating a million times per second, and seeing Hyejoo after that exchange may as well have given her a heart attack.</p><p>Hyejoo liked someone. The girl who everyone thought had a heart of stone found someone attractive.</p><p>Maybe winning her heart wasn't as impossible as everyone had thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. a friend and a call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night, Yerim stood in front of the mirror above her sink, splashing cool water onto her face. She’d been crying again. It happened so often and with so little explanation- ever since she’d started her final year of highschool, her emotions had been spiking with no warning. There were a thousand reasons she could be feeling so broken, but tonight, the most logical was that the overheard conversation had sent her heart spiraling out of control.</p><p>She turned off the tap and looked into the mirror, seeing swollen red eyes and puffy cheeks glistening back at her. She felt ashamed, above all else, that she had so carelessly listened to words that weren’t meant for her. </p><p>Her cell phone buzzed on the edge of the counter, lighting up with texts. Her friends had been messaging her all night. After Hyejoo had gone, and after Yerim had collected herself, she’d gone straight home instead of returning to her friends. Her unexplained decision to do so sparked worry and annoyance among her friend group (the latter feeling, of course, belonging to Hyunjin, although she loosened up when she realized something must be wrong).</p><p>The newest one was from Haseul: <i>Please, just say something so I know you’re alright.</i></p><p>Yerim picked up her phone and tiredly flipped through message after message, reading the words of concern and playful jabs that her friends had sent in the hopes that they could elicit a response. She felt bad not responding, but she couldn’t find the words to describe what had happened, or at least how it made her feel. </p><p>Tucking her phone into the pocket of her sweatpants, Yerim left the bathroom and sat down on the edge of her bed. Really, there were more important things to be worried about, more important things to cry over, but hard as she tried, she couldn’t get her mind off Hyejoo.</p><p>Although being alone gave her time to think, she couldn’t help feeling like she needed someone else. And that was when it hit her.</p><p>Pulling out her phone, she flipped through her contacts, looking for a familiar name. At the end of the list she found it- Yeojin. </p><p>Yerim and Yeojin had been friends since second grade, when they’d been paired for a project because they were the only two in the class with names that started with Y. Yeojin was everything Yerim had a hard time being- sociable, naturally funny, and unbashadely unashamed of who she was. </p><p>(Yerim wasn’t shy, per se- it was simply that she had enough insecurities to match up with her brightness and positivity. It was her balanced personality that frequently endeared her to people, but it also kept her from spontaneity. Yeojin was never bound by anything and to her, life was whatever she made of it.)</p><p>Their friendship went on strong for years, until the seventh grade, when Yeojin’s family hit a rough patch and she had to move for her mother’s job. Yerim quieted down after her friend’s moving out. Her other friends were kind and funny, but she would never again meet anyone with Yeojin’s free spirit. </p><p>Despite the new challenge that had arisen, something that might have ended their friendship, Yerim and Yeojin kept in touch as much as possible. Unfortunately, long distance friendships often fall to lower priority, and their over the phone conversations became less and less common. If one of them called the other, it was usually a matter of great importance.</p><p>Yerim figured this was important enough.</p><p>She hit the call button and put the phone to her ear. Three rings. And then:</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>Yerim swallowed. “Hi, Yeojin. Is this a bad time?”</p><p>“Uh-” A giggle from Yeojin’s end. “Hold on, let me just-” The sound of walking, doors opening and closing. “Sorry about that.”</p><p>“Are you doing something? Sorry. I’ll call later-” Yerim tripped over her words.</p><p>“No, no, don’t worry. I was just sleeping over with a few friends. Is something wrong?”</p><p>Yerim sighed. It suddenly felt like a stupid idea, calling her friend in the middle of a sleepover just because of a crush. “It’s just-”</p><p>Quiet on the other end. Yeojin was listening carefully. “Yes?” She pressed.</p><p>“I really like this one girl and I think there’s a chance she could like me back.” Yerim rushed, biting down on her lip to stop her outburst.</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Yeah. See, people always try to win her over but she turns everyone down, right? And then I overheard her talking, and she says there’s a girl in one of her classes that she likes, and now I think there’s a possibility that I could actually get her to like me. Maybe.” She slapped her forehead. Why did she have to spill everything out so suddenly?</p><p>A pause. “That’s crazy, Yerim. Is this the girl you told me about last year?”</p><p>“I think.” Yerim forced herself to speak slower. “I really don’t want to interrupt your party. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, I just- I just thought you’d know what to do. You always know what to do. With social… stuff.” </p><p>Yeojin laughed a little. “You think too highly of me.” She seemed to be contemplating what to say for a moment, and then she spoke up. “Yerim.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“You’re fucking awesome. You know that, right?”</p><p>It was Yerim’s turn to laugh. “Now you’re thinking too highly of me. I don’t know that I can agree.”</p><p>Yeojin sighed. “Yerim, you have to understand that you’re a great person. You’re chill, and you help others, and you somehow manage to take the worst situations and make them look like a good thing. I don’t want to hear you doubt your ability to be desirable.”</p><p>Yerim, as she listened, looked up at her reflection in her bedroom mirror. Her hair was down completely for the night- it was originally purple, but had faded to a pale pink with an almost yellow tinge in places. It was weird (Hyunjin had teased her about it enough times) but she liked it. She liked that about herself.</p><p>“The best advice I can give you is to be confident in yourself- <i>you are fucking awesome.</i> End of story. If you can see that, everyone else will.”</p><p>Again, Yerim was surprised by how damn inspiring her friend could be. This was Yeojin, who would eat dirt if you dared her to. Somehow she managed to both be a ball of energy and a powerful voice.</p><p>“Wow. Okay, that was a bit over the top.” Yeojin said, and laughed. “I didn’t mean to go all Gandalf on you there.”</p><p>“No, it really helped. It means a lot.” Yerim pushed her hair out of her face as she spoke. “Thanks. Really.”</p><p>“No problem. Now, if you don’t mind, we’re about to start watching the best Star Wars movie.”</p><p>Yerim raised her eyebrows, although she knew her friend couldn’t see. “Oh, so Empire Strikes Back?”</p><p>Another laugh. “No, Revenge of the Sith. You’re funny, Yerim.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes, but as they said their goodbyes and hung up, Yerim couldn’t help but feel grateful. It was cheesy to feel so lucky over a friend (a friend who, as was mentioned earlier, had no aversions to eating dirt) but hey, two days earlier she cried when the arm fell off one of her old stuffed animals.</p><p>She was way too fucking emotional. But also, apparently, fucking awesome. And for the first time in weeks, Yerim didn’t feel ashamed of her feelings.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. silver hair and unexpected pairs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If there was anyone in the school who had “really nice hair”, it was Chaewon.</p><p>Every month, Chaewon showed up to school with a fresh new hair color that she kept on for several weeks before changing it. When she’d transferred to their school at the end of Yerim’s junior year, her hair was blonde, but when summer ended, she walked in with hair shaded electric blue. Name a color, and she had rocked it at least once in her life.</p><p>Yerim had always appreciated people who dyed their hair, but Chaewon stood out to her in particular, as instead of choosing tame colors she chose bright and vibrant ones. It was a demonstration of her confidence in her own choices. For someone like Yerim, who wasn’t a huge fan of drawing attention to herself, it was alluring.</p><p>So when Yerim sat down in English class the next day and saw Chaewon enter with a head of silver hair, she didn’t question the fact that this was definitely the girl Hyejoo secretly liked. </p><p>For the whole period Yerim kept glancing at Hyejoo to see if she could catch the crush in action. Hyejoo was focused on her paper and kept her gaze locked on it, unfortunately for Yerim’s theory. But still, she believed her theory to be true. </p><p>At lunch, she had barely gotten the chance to sit down under the tree her friends shared when she was bombarded with questions:</p><p>“Why haven’t you responded to our messages?” Haseul, calm.</p><p>“I thought you were dead.” Hyunjin, unbothered.</p><p>“What happened yesterday?” Heejin, curious.</p><p>Yerim, pulling out her lunch and propping herself up against her bag, sighed deeply and prepared herself to answer all of their questions. But how would she explain this? There was going to be instant chaos no matter what she said.</p><p>“Uh, okay.” She began. “I know I kind of ran off yesterday- and no, Hyunjin, I am not dead- but I felt like it would be easier to explain face to face.”</p><p>The other girls nodded, waiting for her to continue.</p><p>“I maybe accidentally overheard Hyejoo say she has a crush on someone.”</p><p>Yep. Instant chaos.</p><p>“What?? And you didn’t think to tell us sooner? The hell, Yerim!” Hyunjin spouted first, suddenly deeply interested in the exchange. Heejin started praising and interrogating Yerim at once, while Haseul just raised her eyebrows.</p><p>“Okay, slow down.” Yerim said, hands raised, and once they settled down, she relayed the previous day’s event to them.</p><p>When she finished, the three girls were silent. The only person who spoke was Hyunjin, and it was just a “hm”, her eyebrows furrowed with thought.</p><p>“‘Really nice hair’ you say?” Haseul said after several long moments. “Does she mean Chaewon?”</p><p>“That’s what I thought too.” Yerim explained. “And I still think so, but Hyejoo is impossible to read. I mean, we’ve already established that her heart is stone, but her face, too.”</p><p>Just then, before anyone else could say something, a girl in their year walked up directly to them. She had dark red hair and bangs that fell over a flowery yellow shirt. Yerim recognized her- Chuu. (Technically, her name was Jiwoo, but ever since the sixth grade she’d insisted that people call her by her nickname, and it stuck.)</p><p>Chuu was trailed by a taller blonde girl. Jinsoul, she assumed- she’d only seen the other girl once or twice in the halls, and had only heard her voice that one time.</p><p>“Hi, guys.” Chuu said enthusiastically, not minding that she was interrupting a conversation. “I’m Chuu, as you know, and I’m with Leadership. I just wanted to check in to see if all of you have turned in your tickets for Sadies. Now-” She pulled out a clipboard from under her arm. </p><p>Hyunjin piped up first. “Kim Hyunjin. I should be on there.” Chuu sat down in front of them and went down the list until she found the girl’s name. </p><p>“You’re good. Next?”</p><p>She verified each of the four friends, Yerim last. When she had finished, the girls expected her to thank them and leave, but she just flipped to the second paper on her clipboard, running down the list with her eyes.</p><p>“Is there an issue?” Haseul asked, causing Chuu to look up and smile.</p><p>“No issue.” She began explaining. “See, we’ve had some… issues with dances in the past. So, to avoid any trouble, we’re pairing attendees up, so they can monitor each other’s behavior. I got Jinsoul, lucky me-” Chuu smiled back at her girlfriend, who lingered a few steps behind and was tugging at her beanie- “but I wanted to tell you early in case you need a switch. So. Who’s first?”</p><p>Haseul shrugged and raised a hand. Chuu immediately got to work looking through, and- “You’re with Shin Ryujin.”</p><p>The other two girls went before Yerim. Although they wanted to be together, both Heejin and Hyunjin still ended up with good matches- the former was paired with Han Eunji, a funny and somewhat popular girl in their year, and the latter with Park Jihyo, the school’s president and a member of an anime club to which Hyunjin belonged to.</p><p>Finally, it was Yerim’s turn. All of her friends got good partners, so she knew she probably wouldn’t be getting someone bad, but her heart still beat with anticipation.</p><p>“Choi Yerim, Choi…” Chuu said to herself as she scanned the sheet. “Here we are.”</p><p>
  <i> Please let it be someone good. </i>
</p><p>“You’re with…” Chuu trailed off briefly, raising her eyebrows with slight surprise.</p><p>“What? Who is it?” Yerim said anxiously.</p><p>Chuu set her clipboard down, smiling nevertheless. </p><p>“Your partner is Son Hyejoo.”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. unread messages</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! it's been a while! i'm sorry this wasn't updated sooner- i've had a lot of work to deal with. for now, enjoy the new chapter! hopefully the next one will come very soon :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“God dammit.”</p><p>Yerim sat on the edge of Haseul’s bed, swinging her legs so that her heels tapped against the bed frame. Her fingers dug into the edge of the mattress tightly. To anchor herself, since it seemed like everything was flying out of control.</p><p>“How many times are you going to say that before you talk to me?” Haseul asked playfully, leaned back in her chair as she tapped through her phone.</p><p>“Sorry.” Yerim apologized, forcing her legs to stop moving for <i> one goddamn minute. </i> “It’s just so much to take in, you know?”</p><p>Haseul sighed. “It’s not that much. Your partner for the dance just so happens to be your crush. So what? That’s a good thing. You get to spend more time with her.”</p><p>In a burst of energy Yerim leapt to her feet and began to pace, her nervousness practically radiating out of her. “No, it’s not a good thing. She won’t like me, and I’ll be awkward, and it’ll be a long, terrible night because I won’t even be able to speak around her.” She paused to glance at her reflection with a brief shudder before continuing her pacing.</p><p>There was a small thump as Haseul set her phone down on her desk and stood. Yerim hardly even noticed her friend until the other girl had put her hands on Yerim’s shoulders.</p><p>“You listen to me, okay?” Haseul said firmly. “You are not going to mess this up. Believe it or not, you are actually a very likeable person. She will like you.” She said it with such strength that for a minute, Yerim believed her. For a minute.</p><p>Yerim pulled away and sat back down on the bed, closing her eyes for a few moments to regain her calm. </p><p>Of course she’d fantasized about a situation like this. In her head, it was perfect- she would be endlessly charismatic and funny as she guided Hyejoo to the dance floor, and they would sway in time to her favorite song, and…</p><p>“Hey!” Haseul snapped, grabbing Yerim’s attention again. “Are you listening?”</p><p>“Yes.” Well, sort of.</p><p>Another sigh. “Repeat it back to me.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Haseul set her hands on her hips. “Say ‘I am a likeable person.’”</p><p>“Really?” Yerim asked. “You don’t seriously-”</p><p>“Think it’ll work?” Haseul interjected. “It works for me. Repeat it.”</p><p>It was Yerim’s turn to sigh, tilting her head in the other direction and gazing at the stack of books on her friend’s nightstand. She knew that she was a likeable person- how else did she have friends?- but it still didn’t fully click in her brain.</p><p>“I-” She paused momentarily. “I am a likeable person.”</p><p>“Good.” Haseul nodded. “But you need to believe it.”</p><p>Yerim stood again, facing her friend eye-to-eye. “I believe it. Why are you grilling me?”</p><p>Haseul didn’t sigh this time, just returned to her chair that had rolled a little ways from her desk. “What I’m trying to say is that you need to believe in yourself. It doesn’t matter if the thing you’re telling yourself is true- you just need to believe that it’s true with all of your heart.” She paused. “I’m not a psychologist or anything, though. Just a hypothesis.”</p><p>Yerim met her reflection’s gaze once more. She didn’t know why this gave her so much trouble. Why it took so much effort to try and produce an ounce of self confidence. Other people did it so well. Her friends did it so well. But for her, it just felt like scraping the bottom of the barrel for something that wasn’t there.</p><p>Still, Yerim tried her hardest to look into her reflection with new eyes. She looked at her hair- with that pinkish glow, the hints of yellow- at her eyes, the corners of her lips. She looked beyond what she saw everyday. Set herself back to square one. Asked herself who she was to a stranger. Who she could be.</p><p>Hyejoo barely knew her. Yerim could be anyone.</p><p>That did the trick.</p><p>She felt a rise of confidence in herself, just enough to bring a small smile to her face. Hyejoo wouldn’t look at her like all her friends did, because Hyejoo had no idea what her quirks and flaws were. If she wanted, Yerim could be a whole new person, and her partner would be none the wiser. </p><p>Yerim was just beginning to form a plan in her head when her phone buzzed in her back pocket. She took it out and scrolled through a few notifications. When she saw the most recent one, her heart leapt.</p><p>Chuu had given each of them their partner’s numbers. After setting up a contact for Hyejoo, Yerim hadn’t dared to touch her phone, as if she could ruin her first chance that way. But there it was. A text, from Hyejoo. Thank goodness- it meant she didn’t have to make the first move.</p><p>The text: <i> Hey. I guess you’re my partner. </i></p><p>Yerim ignored Haseul’s questions as she sat down on the bed, typing out a response at lighting speed. </p><p>
  <i> Yeah! </i>
</p><p>As the floating thought bubble popped up on Hyejoo’s end she immediately regretted her tone. She sounded too dorky, too childish. </p><p>A response: <i> Cool. Send me your address and I’ll pick you up tomorrow. </i></p><p>It was so blunt that Yerim was taken by surprise. Clearly, Hyejoo had no aversions to taking charge completely. It eased Yerim’s stress a little bit, to know she wouldn’t have to make the major decisions in their… time as partners.</p><p>She typed out her address quickly and sent it. Hyejoo responded with a nonchalant <i> Okay. </i> as Yerim set her phone down.</p><p>Haseul was giving her a look that suggested she wanted to know exactly what was going on.</p><p>“I’ll tell you later, I promise.” Yerim said, not hiding the grin on her face. “First, I have to go get a dress.”</p>
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